Rachel Whisman

A soft and discreet whisper of a lie crept in, “You are missing out.” It seemed so faint, but soon it was blaring throughout my thoughts. One of my best friends recently got married. Attending a wedding as a single in the later part of your 20s hits differently than when you are a spry and young college graduate. When you are younger, time nor the future possibilities do not seem to be as narrow. As the years chip away, so does the hope. 

Can you relate? Single lady, I want to remind you that you are not missing out. With this lie, ultimately, the character of God is being challenged in your heart. His wisdom, sovereignty, love, presence, and purpose are being called into question. You are being provided an opportunity in these moments to remember who God is. When it is easy to reel in self-pity, I challenge you to take the road less traveled and forge in your mind and heart these truths to be renewed in. 

God’s Wisdom. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). However good we perceive our intentions and desires to be, God’s wisdom and His ways are better. A lot of the time, I go to the Lord and confess, “God, I just don’t get this. What are you doing?” The answer I want from Him is not the one I expect. Yet, his wisdom is what can comfort our hearts. This admission of frustration reveals the reality of our humanness. We can’t know everything, nor are we expected to and you should not place that expectation on yourself. God does not expect you to understand everything. If you believe so, that is your pride piercing through. (Deuteronomy 29:29). What He does want is for you to trust His wisdom and not your own. He will use this to mold us and shape us to become more like Christ. 

God’s Sovereignty. God is in control of everything. From which relationships He will allow or keep from you. He is in control. Young lady, you can trust Him. He is in control of it all. He is not weak in dealing with your desires nor ignorant of them. Take Him at His word and by His hand, He will lead you where you need to go (Psalm 119:105). 

God’s Love. He cares for you more than you could ever care for yourself. He knows what is best for you, did He not send us Jesus? It is in these moments were you might feel weak. However, the Lord meets us in our weakness to further reveal His strength and love to us. Don’t ignore these longings. Don’t shove them away and suppress, but bring them to the Lord. “Draw near to me and I will draw near to you.” James 4:8

God’s Presence. He is Emmanuel, God with us. Even in the moments when you feel isolated and lonely, He is still there. “Though you have not seen him, you love him.” (! Peter 1:8). 

God’s Eternal Purpose. Ben Stuart rattled me when he once said, “God does not owe me marriage.” It was a heart check that I needed at the time and still need. God does not owe me a marriage, but He did give me one. Out of His love, He pursued and redeemed me. If I don’t see that as the greatest blessing, something or someone is being idolized. No man will ever amount to the beauty of what Christ did for us. 

Our eternal purpose is to be wedded to Him. Marriage in this world is not the ultimate goal, but to spend eternity with God is. Yes, God ordained marriage, but it is all pointing to Him. A relationship may come or it may go, but our hope is not built on the what-ifs but the certainty of what we do have in Christ now. 

The years may chip away at you as a single lady, but the Lord is our maker. He knows what needs to be carved out and refined in us to make us become more like Christ. Our ultimate aim, “whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please God” (2 Corinthians 5:9-10). We please Him by coming with our tear-filled eyes, trusting hands, thankful hearts, an obedient spirit, and a life devoted to loving Him. Single lady, it does not all look the same, but He stays the same. Whether He provides you a groom or not, He will always be better and more than enough. It is in Him that, “He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things” (Psalm 107:9).