Rachel Whisman

Crashing. Clanging. Charging.
Out, I want out.
Change.
My soul’s desire.
Stuck in the cyclical cycle of the mundane.
Knocking…no answer.
Trying… results, none that my sight can see.
Pleading…only hollow echoes.
Dissatisfaction and discontentment lurking around the corner.
Oh God, change my circumstances.
Quiet, near silence.
Ripples of tears steadily stream down.

To His word I lean as my reprieve.
Consolation in characters who craved change as well.
Hagar, despondent in the desert.
Joseph, confined in a cell.
Sarah, salvaging the remnants of her plans.
Alone, I am not.
Faithful through the haze, Emmanuel will always be.

Change, He will, yet not the way I asked.
Me. He changes me.
This furnace of life, He is doing a good work.
Pressures applied to melt my pride.
Questions left unanswered give way to rest in His wisdom.
Scraping away selfishness to mold my heart to His.
Whatever it takes, His hand will plow.
Eyes dim with sight, but heart renewed by His.

Calmly, crumbling, into His embrace.
Acceptance, as my heart is undone.
Comfort and soundness in His harbor of trust.
Conformed to Him and not my will.
His character, piercing through.
What love is this?
His grace, my sufficiency.
His glory, my good.
His security, my freedom.
No exit found, but the best in Him.

Your righteousness, O God, reaches the high heavens. You who have done great things, O God, who is like you? You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. You will increase my greatness and comfort me again. I will also praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praises to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel.

-Psalm 71:19-22

Behind the Poem

We ask for change, and often, we don’t get the response we desire. What do we do in response? Do we pout and belabor in self-pity? Scrutinize God and idolize our ideals, or with hearts of faith submit ourselves to the care and discipline of the Lord? Life is full of disappointments, some of which we tee up for ourselves while others blindside us. They knock us off, leaving us dazed, but God is not confused. For me, this summer has been a rattling cage of discontentment. As I read through Psalm 71, I admired the hope, trust, and solidarity that David had despite his desire to change his circumstances. He has a resilient assurance despite what he is going through. It is commendable and inspiring because of His love for the Lord. Paul in the Epistles shares this allegiance as well, and as John Piper shares, “He loves the glory of God more than the absence of the thorn.” Is that not what we ultimately want, His glory? Therefore, God, do whatever it takes to magnify your name through us, and help us to be glad and eager participants in you while we are on our way. 

My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed. And my tongue will talk of your righteous help all the day long, for they have been put to shame and disappointed who sought to do me hurt.

-Psalm 71:22-23