Rachel Whisman

I needed a break from one of my students, and they needed a break from the room. They were not behaving, but disobeying and breaking my rules from left to right. Nothing I was saying or doing was working. My patience had already worn thin, and I needed help, and they did too. I prepared a “think sheet” for my student to take with them as I was contacting someone for support. Before leaving my room, the student took the clipboard and quickly filled it out, and left this…

If I was simmering before, I was fuming now when the student tried to turn it in to me. Stings ripped across my heart as if I was slapped in the face. Really? After taking the time to ask the heart questions and being stern yet patient, this is what they wanted to turn in? It felt like the wind was knocked out of me. Fortunately, by the time I saw this, someone from the administration team came and escorted them out of my room to deal with the situation, and I had to go on teaching. 

Fast forward to that evening, as I was trying to wind down for the night, I thought to myself, “the audacity and disrespect.” As I remembered it, another thought came to mind: the story of Nathan as he rebukes David. Before Nathan confronted David with his sin, he shared a story of another person’s sin, and this was David’s response: 

“Then David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man, and He said to Nathan, ‘As the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die…and because he had no pity” (2 Samuel 12:5-6).

David was enflamed by another person’s actions while being absent-minded of his own sin and betrayal of God. Nathan plunges the knife with his response to David, 

“You are the man!… Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in his sight?” (2 Samuel 12:7,10).

“You are the man!” rang in my thoughts. “Rachel, you are no different,” settled into my heart. Different sins I might have than David or my student, but the same God that we betray. The same root of sin that nailed Jesus to the cross. The same defiance rattles in our being, we call the flesh. It desires to callous any feelings of remorse through our disobedience and lullaby our conviction of sin until it is hushed and we are non-repentant. Hoping, we too will be just as quick to respond to the questions “What happened? What could you have done differently? How do you feel? What will you do differently?” with “Nothing. I did nothing. I feel nothing. I don’t need to do anything,” just like my 2nd-grader did.

When entrenched in our sins, our hearts are hardened. When we repeatedly sin over and over again, no matter what the sin is, we suppress the truth and don’t see God as clearly (Romans 1:18-20, Matthew 5:8). We drown ourselves in it and can’t clearly hear the truth above the water. Watching my student write me off so quickly and dismiss his own actions was a reflection of how we do that to the Lord. It brings into question, where are you quick to rationalize rather than reorient yourself with what the Lord states? Are you willing to humble yourself in prayer and ask others, who love the Lord and are wise, to point out areas in your life where they could see you grow in or confess sin to them? Are you picking up the Bible to read to clarify who God is and who you are because of Him?

Praise God that Jesus did not respond to us with “nothing” but did everything for us so that we could have life in Him. 

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

2 Timothy 2:22