Rachel Whisman

Do nothing from selfish ambition, or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to the interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 2:3-5

Being single does not make you less qualified to be a source of hospitality to others. We are all called to play a role and exercise the giftings the Lord has given us. Singleness is not a station you are waiting at, but a season (however short or long the Lord calls you to it) that is meant to direct people’s lives to Christ. 

Look to Jesus. We have great hope and encouragement because Jesus was single, and that did not stop him from showing hospitality. He didn’t say, “Well, I guess since I don’t have a family I can’t _______.” No, He is where we learn the truth about what hospitality is and how to do it. He is the founder and author of it. He is the lens through which we gain understanding of what it means to be hospitable. He did not just have meals with others, but shared his life. He did not just pursue one group of people, but all. 

Look around and pray. Where you are and with whom you come into contact is not an accident. God has purposefully placed you in this time to be around these people. Since he brought them along, thank him for that and pray for them. Ask for more opportunities and the wisdom to listen well and speak in truth and love. 

Look to His bride, the Church. The temptation is to turn inwards and start expecting the Church to do everything for you. Yes, the Church is meant to serve, equip, and teach us, but it is not a one-way road; it is supposed to be reciprocated in our service to the body of Christ. The church needs you because, as a single, you have the availability that married people do not have. That is a gift and one to be exercised. Serve on the greeting team to welcome others in. Be a voice in the lives of those younger than you to share Christ with the kids or youth ministry. Stir up encouragement to your pastor with a letter, or gather friends to make a meal for his family. Christ laid down his life for the Church. It is precious in his sight; is it in yours? 

Partner in Crime. When we look in the Bible, we see that Jesus did not do His ministry alone. He could have. He did not need the disciples nor Mary Magdalene, but he chose to humble himself, slow down, and do it with them. If Jesus did not always do it alone, are we any different? Being single and not having to “check in” with a spouse, there is a temptation to depend on yourself for everything, rather than humbly slowing down and asking a friend to do something together. Just because it could be easier to do it by yourself, I encourage you to find a friend and do it together. Your ideas are not the only valid ones. People bring different things to the table, and when we do, we get to watch the beauty of the uniqueness of the body of Christ unfold before our eyes. 

Initiate and Invite. Yet sometimes you will have to go for it and do it yourself. There is a balance, and Christ showed us his wisdom in this when he saw Zacchaeus and went to him, or when he stayed at the well while his disciples went into town and started a conversation with the woman coming. The reality is, you do have more freedom in your schedule than those who are married because you do not have two schedules, but just yours. To clarify, more freedom, though, does not equate to “less busy”. Single people can be just as intentional with how they spend their time as married people are. Just as Christ was intentional with pursuing us, we can extend that to others. He initiated and invited us in, and we are to reflect that as well in our lives, whether single or married. The same Spirit that lives in Him, lives in us (Romans 8:11). So extend your greeting at Church and introduce yourself to a stranger. Be bold to ask the waiter or waitress their name and how you can pray for them before you eat your meal. Invite the newcomer to your weekly sports hangout. Ask an older couple or family if you could bring your meal over and join them for dinner. 

Open up your home. I can hear the hesitancy and the alarms going off in a single person’s head, “My home? I just live in an apartment,” or “I don’t have what you need to host.” We make it too complicated, and instead of inviting others into our homes, we resort to meeting outside at different locations. With a friend, host a game night, dinner, brunch, or movie night. Deep and meaningful conversations can bloom from this one act. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but start small and see where it goes. 

Don’t stop; keep pursuing. If you are already doing these things above. Keep going, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9). You are a tremendous encouragement to those around you, whether they say it or not. I have been blessed and encouraged by others who have used their single years to advance the Gospel through their hospitality. These friends have spurred me on to keep pursuing, have set before me an example to be emulated, and have reminded me of the beauty of it. You might never know what fruit your obedience to Christ will produce, but ultimately we aim to please the Lord and not man (2 Corinthians 5:9). 

Look to the end. The endgame is for people to come, know, and love Jesus, not our event nor ourselves. It is not about you. Singleness is not about you, but about God being glorified and treasured, and what better way than a life that is marked by Jesus and uses hospitality as a way to share Christ.