Rachel Whisman

At the end of work, one of my coworkers and I were discussing dating and engagement. As it was coming to a close and we were both heading our different ways, she asked me, “So, when are you getting engaged?” I looked back at her and responded contentedly, “Until the good Lord provides a man worthy.” She chuckled a little and replied, “I guess you will be waiting a long time.” Reassuringly, I responded, “And that is okay.” 

As I get older, I notice more people lowering their expectations. Compromising just a little here and a little there. The reality of Proverbs 24:33-34 seems to unfold right before my eyes: “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.” Slowly excusing and justifying red flags, turning a deaf ear to the wisdom around them, and proceeding with hope that they will eventually change. My plea is not to do so, but keep waiting, for it will be far better. The waiting in the perceived silence is what God will use to sanctify you to become more like Jesus and long for him more. 

In the absence of our desires fulfilled, he reveals what and who we want ultimately. He is not being cruel, but caring for our hearts in the best way, as Psalm 145:17 says, “The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.” Some days are easier to believe this, while others are not so much. But my feelings can’t dictate the truth of God’s character. They have to bow at the feet of Jesus. Some days I pray, then, “Lord, convince me of this truth in my heart.” I believe; help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24).”

We also see that waiting is good and that it is not idle, but dynamic, as Lamentations 3:25-27 points out, “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul that seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for one to bear the yoke in his youth.” These scriptures are nestled in the midst of a prophet’s groaning and lamenting for Israel and the Lord’s rightful discipline upon them. These people are tired of waiting. Their endurance and hope are lacking. They are in agony and distress over their sin and lot in life. Do you feel that sometimes? Yet the Lord commands them not to compromise, but to wait on Him. To turn to him with their heart, seek him in their frailty, and bear the yoke. The same is true for us. Our lives will be filled with moments or seasons of waiting, but God instructs us to do the same in each one. 

Single, if your heart is hurt because of the “no’s” and “not yets,” don’t waste it, but by faith go to the Lord with it. He does not grow weary of you. I appreciate Mark Vroegop’s clarifying definition of lament: “A prayer in pain leading you to trust God.” There is pain where dreams go unmet, but our God can satisfy us with himself. Sometimes it is due to sin and the idolatry of something or someone else besides God, and we are called to repent. Other times it is due to suffering and hurt, and we are called to trust His care. In both, “He is near to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them” (Psalm 145:18-19). Single, keep waiting, trusting, and upholding the standards God has ordained for a spouse. If not here, that is okay. Our longings point us to the marriage feast with Christ in heaven, where all will be made right. 

“Whatever blessings He sees good to take from you, Himself He will never take. Whatever stream of creature love He sees fit to dry, His own love will never fail. Oh, can that love fail- can it cease to yearn, sympathize, soothe, and support, which brought Jesus down from heaven to earth to endure and suffer all this for us?” -Octavius Winslow