A Prayer in Pain Leading to Trust 

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Pain is something we all experience eventually. Innocence is stripped from us as we suffer the loss of a loved one. Disappointment lingers when expectations are not met. Confusion swirls in the hearts of moms as they ache to hold a child that may never come, and doubts for singles may deepen when dates end with dead ends. A loss is a loss, and when the ache is fresh, deep, and throbbing, one might question, “Is the Bible able to meet me where I’m at?” or  “Is God sufficient to answer the questions, grievances, and silent sorrows I carry?” 

Mark Vroegop’s book, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament, answers that with a resounding yes. His book exposes and explains an ancient pathway deeply embedded in the Bible. This pathway is lament. A pathway for me that has seemed more ambiguous, hazy, and vague in its definition. In my confusion, I have asked myself, “Is it just complaining to the Lord?” or “Am I doing this right?” to “Am I being irreverent?” Fortunately, from the onset, he clears up any cobwebs or misconceptions you might have and defines lament as “a prayer in pain leading to trust in the Lord”. From there, with pastoral care, he takes you on a three-part journey. In part one, he guides you on how to lament from start to finish with four markers from the Bible: turning, complaining, asking, and trusting. In part two, he illustrates this sequence from the book of Lamentations. Then, in part three, he concludes with personal and communal applications. 

At first, when I started reading this book, I felt unqualified and identified with his statement when he wrote, “Sometimes people think lament is only for gut-wrenching grief or life-altering tragedies.” However, by the end of the introduction, I was captivated by the reality of how lament “is how you live between the poles of a hard life and trusting in God’s sovereignty…It is how we bring our sorrows to God.” Sorrow is sorrow, no matter how small or large it is perceived to be. This book has given me lifelong tools that I can use for myself in the little grievances that come as a school teacher when my patience is wearing thin, and in other trials that I am wading through, and those that will come. You will be better equipped as well on how to intercede for others in prayer, help counsel them, and lead them to direct their gaze upon Christ when it is hard for them to do so. 

Mark Vroegop tackled a hefty topic, and his treatment was filled with Biblical truth, pastoral care, and vulnerability. He himself is no foreigner to lament. His life has been riddled with tragedies and sufferings, which made reading his book enjoyable as he was authentic throughout. I am thankful for a brother in Christ who has shared the beauty of lament through the tears he has shed and wept, and helps us look to Jesus even in the midst of pain, sorrow, and confusion.

Favorite quotes from the book:

To pray in pain, even with its messy struggle and tough questions, is an act of faith where we open up our hearts to God. pg. 31

Giving God the silent treatment is the ultimate manifestation of unbelief. Despair lives under the hopeless resignation that God doesn’t care, he doesn’t hear, and nothing is ever going to change. People who believe this stop praying. They give up. pg.32

But whatever you do- don’t stop talking to God. Keep wrestling. Keep struggling. Keep praying. pg.38

Lament allows us to embrace an endurance that is not passive; Lament helps us to practice active patience. Trust looks like talking to God, sharing our complaints, seeking God’s help, and then recommitting ourselves to believe in who God is and what he has done- even as trials continue. pg. 74

Keep trusting the One who keeps you trusting. -John Piper pg. 85

Lament dares to hope while life is hard. Lament is a prayer of faith despite your fear…you live through suffering by what you believe, not by what you see or feel. pg. 110

So, when we struggle under the weight of hard circumstances, we need to remind our hearts that God reigned through the cross. The Bible has told us the redemptive story so we can find our way through the darkest moments. pg. 148

One response to “A Prayer in Pain Leading to Trust ”

  1. Hayden Lanier Avatar
    Hayden Lanier

    I was given this book by a Pastor and read it recently. It was very helpful to me in clearing up misconceptions about lament many of us have as Christians. I always felt uncomfortable praying the ways we see lament in the Bible, but now I know this is Biblical and brings us closer to the Lord. Thank you for your review, it is a helpful summary and helped me remember the main points of the book!

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