Rachel Whisman

This week I say goodbye to my 20s and step into my 30s. The theme from my 20s was “growing pains.” It was like puberty part 2. I went to college, graduated, and then entered the workforce as a teacher. The transition was weird. COVID was in the middle of it, and we all know how that went. I thought I knew who I was, but then God allowed trials to form and shape me, so that I could know Him and myself better. Now, the 30s are before me, and I look ahead with optimism, knowing and trusting more of who God is and who I am in Christ. As I have looked back, I have collected some thoughts in no particular order. Some of them are musings, while others are light-hearted, with a sweet one at the end (if you know me, then you probably already know). Enjoy! 

1. Consume the Bible. Read, listen, meditate, memorize, and pray through it. Scrolling satisfies our boredom, but scripture sanctifies us. You will never outgrow your need to know the word of God. 

2. Join, not just spectate, a church that preaches the word faithfully and in truth. Then, submit yourself to it and invest in Jesus’ bride by serving, building relationships, being disciplined through it, and praying for his bride. 

3. Wrestle with God, and by this I don’t mean doing it irreverently. Heed the wisdom of David: “When I kept silent my bones wasted away through my groaning all the day long.” (Psalm 32:3). Don’t sweep it under the rug. The silence will eventually seize you. Better to learn now and experience the grace and love of God than to ignore and grow calloused. 

4. Build relationships with those outside of your age range in your local church. There is wisdom with experience and age that you lack in your 20s. Find those older, Godly singles, couples, and families and glean from them. Get coffee with them, invite them over for a meal or dessert, ask if you could bring your dinner over and join them for a meal. You are not a silo. Also, serve those younger than you and seek opportunities to disciple the next generation. 

5. Seek to learn from the trials you go through about who God says he is and how to battle and endure them well. “It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.” (Lam. 3:27). Also, take notice of your recurring sin patterns and learn to fight them early and put them to death, not on life support. 

6. You are never too young to learn something new. It might be pickleball, a language, lifting weights, cooking, or getting better at running; you still have time. Humble yourself, be a kid at heart, and try out a new hobby! Also, think past yourself and learn something so that you can better serve someone else. The end goal of learning a new hobby is not just for ourselves. It can be a means to serve others by creating fellowship opportunities and to evangelize. 

7. Read thought-provoking, good books and balance fiction and nonfiction. What you put before your eyes forms you. Befriend the classics and Puritans. Start small by reading a page or two before going to bed, and eventually it’ll snowball. 

8. Slow down and be intentional. Life is not a sprint. The world propels you into your 20s, and the rush is exhilarating at first, but Jesus calls us to “walk by him” and “walk in Him.” That’s a different pace than the world. If you’re rushing, you’ll eventually crash out. It’s about quality, not quantity. “Abide in me and I in you…apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4-5). Abiding takes denying yourself and accepting Christ. 

9. The triangle that Matthew Bingham pointed out for spiritual disciplines: “Bible reading, prayer, and meditation.” They all work together. To leave out one is to miss out on more. Use the means of grace.

10. Embrace the gray hairs. Aging is a gift, and the Lord values every season of life. Do you?

11. Don’t settle for what the world tells you. Own your convictions by first asking yourself, “What does the Bible say about…?” If you don’t know, then grow. Grow in your theology of God, church, work, singleness, marriage, suffering, family, etc. Be robust and have a Biblical framework and lens. 

12. When it comes to music, movies, books, and social media, question yourself. Ask yourself, “Is this worth it?” and “What would most glorify God?” Jesus reminds us in Matthew 5:8, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” So, is it worth it? Will this help me behold God better or my fleeting, youthful passions better? Bottom line: is it worth it? 

13. Singleness is not your ultimate identity. You are God’s child first and foremost. 

14. In singleness, ladies, keep your standards Biblically based and don’t settle. Does he submit to Christ and love Him, or take pride in himself? Does he love the church and is invested by serving in the fellowship of the church, or is he just a consumer? Does he seek to guard your purity or put stumbling blocks in your way? Does he lead and provide clarity as Christ does, or does he keep you in confusion? Does he encourage you with the word of God or flattery? Does he seek to grow in godliness or worldliness? Does he truly love Jesus? 

15. In singleness, ladies, are you devoted or distracted? Do you submit to Christ and love Him, or take pride in yourself? Do you love the church? Are you invested in serving in the fellowship of the church, or are you just a consumer who slips in and out? Do you seek to guard your purity by what you allow your eyes, ears, and thoughts to meditate on? Do you treat your brothers in Christ as true brothers, or do you try to manipulate them discreetly with flattery in what you say or how you do it? Do you seek to grow in godliness or worldliness? Do you truly love your Savior, Jesus? 

16. Take a walk. Get outside. Observe what surrounds you. Talk to the Lord and enjoy the gift of silence, worship music, and/or a sunset alone or with a friend. 

17. As an extrovert, it took me a while to see the value in resting and stopping. I just always wanted to be around people, but eventually it would come back and bite me, and I was spent. There is a time and place for that, but there is also a time and place for learning how to spend time alone to rest and recharge. It wasn’t until I saw how Jesus valued this that I wanted to value it.  Scheduling “nope” time daily, on the weekends, or calendaring a “nope” day in advance for next month has helped prevent burnout and disciplined me to guard time for longer, undistracted times with the Lord. 

18. Something happens at 25…you’re still young, but nights in start to seem more alluring, and that’s ok. 

19. Be faithful with what you have. “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.” Luke 16:10. My mom taught me this well. It all started with tithing whatever I had as a little kid, even if it was a small amount. Entering your 20s, you probably don’t have a lot to your name, but you have a lot of potential and are laying the foundation for the rest of your life. Habits can be easily formed, but they fortify over the decade and are hard to deconstruct later, whether good or bad. Be wise in what and who you are faithful to, and how you spend your time, money, and thoughts. 

20. Last, but certainly not least, Tillamook Strawberry Ice Cream changed my world in the best way possible three years ago. 

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

Jude 1:24-25